Tag Archives: mother

This village is real.

Women can be rude, sarcastic, manipulative, cruel and ill intentioned. Actually, people can be all of these things, beyond imagining. Our world is full of horror stories.

But, where there is dark, there is light. Light always overpowers dark and this is one example of how this happens. 

I have a girlfriend group that I seemingly stumbled into. These three women all have different histories,  professional skillsets, mothering styles, ages, upbringings. Somehow we all fit like a group of pieces from different puzzels that magically come together. Our individual patterns match. We fit.

It’s a remarkable, lucky thing to be able to recognise the village. The village may be scattered but come together for a single reason. Our children. Every one of us has multiple challenges ongoing at any time. Some more immenent and urgent than the others.

Light prevails where love prevails. But what is love in a friendship circle? To me, love in our friendship circle is where we can all care for each other, express ourselves, our concerns, even when as a collective we are helping sort major, urgent issues (in hospital for how long with no childcare). 

It isn’t tidy. It’s messy. Even when we are laughing at the everyday (how is running naked through the house with a toilet paper tail supposed to be funny gawd), groaning at the ridiculous (those aren’t “balloons…”), snorting at the humorous  (refused dinner but drank half a bottle of tomato ketchup instead). 

The village is a collective. This collective is grounded in respect and love. 

Even if this is a fleeting village, one that isn’t so close throughout my entire life, I know it’s value.  These women are immensely amazing. Their good deeds, even if seen as minor are immense in their magnitude because kindness spreads kindness. 

One of these earthlings says one thing, that she is hard,  tough and unreachable; but her actions override her words. She is kind and generous and makes people matter. She builds them up. When you see her she lights up like she’s truly happy to see and be with you. Like a light. Her smile is just magic. You have to see it to understand how beautiful it is. 

This other woman. What do i say? She is so laid back in conversation. So easy to talk to that speaking with her feels like you’ve been blessed with a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. Some people could walk past her in the street and not realise the gift to our world they have not rejoiced. She is just a joy, anytime.

This third lady. She is beautiful, powerful, she inspires other women to be better. She loves and gives so much, but doesn’t save any for herself. She doesn’t see her value, doesn’t understand just how much SHE MATTERS. Every time I see her, she somehow in a blink can spread warmth in my heartspace. She is a sweet woman who swears like a sailor and makes me laugh.

So to my village, I adore this time we have. I treasure you all. You are the example of what is good in our world.  Each of you in your own way will have a legacy of good in your own way. Collectively you are a beautiful power that can change the world, at least in our own lunchboxes xx.

You know who you are xx

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Autism and society- is this as good as it gets?

What does it say about our society when a little boy has to wear a tshirt that pronounces he is autistic and asks for strangers to be kind to him? What treatment has this small person endured from adults in his world that has driven his parents to dress him this way?

I was in the carpark of a shopping centre with my children when I saw a little boy standing next to my car. We said hello and he smiled back at us. His mother raced up to catch him with her arms full of parcels, obviously worried. We said smiled hello and greeted each other. The tension shifted from her and her shoulders visibly dropped. It wasn’t until I was reversing from my spot that I noticed his shirt.

On the front said in bold print “I’m autistic”. On the back said “I’m autistic. Please be kind to me”. I wanted to jump out of my car and hug this woman (alas, not appropriate).  How stressed must she feel leaving the house to enjoy the sunshine? We live in a modern age, full of opportunity and information. How could our society arrive here? Is this as good as it gets? Please no. Let this be a message and a journey of repair.

This might sound like common sense, but I will continue anyhow:

  • Everyone has their own path and their own story,
  • Judgement breeds insecurity, resentfulness and sadness,
  • Kindness is the basis of everything- when stripped bare, all we really want is kindness,
  • Children learn from modelled behaviour,
  • Words hurt,
  • Love heals,
  • It is our communal responsibility to care for the children in our area,
  • People who complain about the state of our society’s problems better back themselves with direct action,
  • Small acts of kindness on a regular basis make us better people,
  • Better people make better communities,
  • Better communities make better societies,
  • Better societies make a better world.

I pledge to this little boy and his family. I will be kind. Thanks for the reminder.

A Christmas message: love thy neighbours and their children.

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It takes a village to raise a mother

"How's your motherhood travelling?"
“How’s your motherhood travelling?”

Welcome to the Whistling Kite Collective’s Journey of Wellness series.

Motherhood has been an incredible journey. One thing I have learnt, it takes a village to raise a mother. Catching up with people face to face has helped me enormously, especially in the early days when I felt like I was running downhill in the dark. My transition from woman to mother was made so much easier by being surrounded by the collective wisdom and support of others. Yes I could have done it alone, but who would want to? Being surrounded by others’ life experiences has expanded who I am and surely improved how I parent. Being able to reach out and pat someone on the back, snort into my drink, giggle at the ridiculous and cry with exhaustion has been so valuable.

This past week has been one long lesson in relationships. Each of my roles as a person has been challenged in some way.  I have felt a wide range of human emotion in a short period of time; sadness, empathy, grief, sympathy, joy, nervousness, shame, anger, excitement, shock and delight. I attended a funeral of a young, lovely person who passed very suddenly. I ran into a friend who is almost ready to birth her first baby. I spent time in nature with an amazing person and her wonderful little boy. I was lucky to spend a few hours with two dear friends that I have hardly seen since my second baby was born. When my first friend arrived at my door, I was so incredibly happy to see her I could have jumped on her! I settle for a hug and kiss. When my second friend arrived unexpectedly, I opened the door and burst into tears. My people, my village, hooray!

This week has reminded me how lucky I am. I have everything I want and need. Sure there could be more; or much, much less. Do my friends really know how special they are? Does my family? What about my favourite man? Do I really show these people how fabulous they are?

My dear friends and family near and afar have inspired me to be a better mother, to seek help, ask advice, laugh at myself, to rest when I can, to be grateful for my time and to enjoy the company of others. So, to my village, I thank you. I am blessed to be a part of something bigger, wholesome and very, very real. I also thank you internet, for connecting me to my worldwide village, where I can plug in at any time, catch up with loved ones around the globe and feel a part of it something tangible.

My favourite lessons from my village:

  1. Surround myself with positive, nurturing people.
  2. Listen and filter out any unhelpful or confusing information.
  3. Value myself and my inner voice.
  4. Quoting a very clever someone “You don’t need a book to tell you how to love your babies”.
  5. Value my people.
  6. Keep in touch.
  7. Say thank you.

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